


Some Help

by Imagines_Dreams



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/M, Mutual Pining, Reader got Squipped, insecure reader, reader has ADHD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 00:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17032989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imagines_Dreams/pseuds/Imagines_Dreams
Summary: Michael and you were friends ever since one group project in sophomore year, but your crush on him was irrelevant. You have ADHD, and someone offered you a solution, the squip. So far, it’s actually been helping. But, when you start to want more than improved academics, how far will you go to get what you want?





	Some Help

When you opened your locker, you immediately forgot what you needed to get. You came to your locker to get something.

“Notebook.”

You cursed. Right. That thing, the squip. You laughed and grabbed your notebook. “Thanks,” you told him. The squip was actually really helpful when it came to your forgetfulness. The first day it activated, it was pretty painful, but it helped you so much in school. It even followed your instructions to not cheat unless completely necessary. You actually had notes for everything discussed in class. You could actually sit down and do homework for more than five minutes. Hell, you could even bite your tongue when you got a bit too impulsive.

“Anytime, (Y/n), I’m here to help you after all.” Your squip smirks. “Incoming.”

You gasp and press your books against your chest. Michael Mell had just turned into the hallway with his best friend. You met him last year in class and had actually become friends with him. Unfortunately spending more and more time with him just made you more infatuated. Michael was just so happy all the time and energetic. He had this way of making you feel comfortable. He was there before you got the squip, and contrary to what your supercomputer says, he likes your random rants and tangents.

“(Y/n)!” He greeted, leaving his hand out for a high-five.

“Hey!” You high-fived him, to which Michael smiled and pointed at you. “See ya in class!” Jeremy nudged him towards you, but Michael just glared at his best friend and shoved him back.

You laughed a little. “Yeah, see ya.” You sighed, your hand still tingling from where his hand touched yours. You listened as he continued to ramble on about the 90’s figurines he was going to get later in the week. Thank god he had a loud voice. You loved listening to it, every rise and fall of his sentence and the way he just made everything sound exciting.

“Too enthusiastic,” the squip commented.

You blinked. “What? That’s who Michael is. It’s not a-”

“I didn’t say Michael. I meant you.” He tilted his head and looked you over.

Your skin bristled. “What?” you snapped.

“No, nothing, I just, does Michael like you now?”

The room grew hotter. “No, but does it matter?” You started stomping off, but you should’ve known better. That squip was implanted in your head. You couldn’t just walk away from its nagging and criticizing. “(Y/n), you want to be with him, don’t you?”

“Of course, but I-”

“You’re what? Scared?”

“No!” You recoiled. I mean, of course, you were. You just didn’t want to admit it. Michael had his best friend, and it seemed like that was all he needed. Plus, why would he like you out of all people?

“Exactly. Why you?”

You hugged your books to your chest. “I mean, I don’t know. I guess, creativity? Oh, I love playing video games with him, and I can put up with his obsession with the past decades’ glory moments.” You stuttered, “T-That’s gotta count for something right?”

“Yeah, but is it enough? Does he like you now, (Y/n)?”

You pursed your lips. “No, I guess not.”

“See. Then the question becomes what can we do to get him” -a fake Michael with that eerily same smile appeared next to your squip- “to like you.” The Michael held your hand, and it broke you to feel only air against you.

“Wouldn’t you want that to be real?”

You stretched your fingers, and Michael’s image faltered until he was no longer there. “Yes,” you whispered.

The squip smiled widely and poked your chest. “Then, you might need me to take control for a while.”

“Control?” You laughed. “You’re a program meant to help me, not do everything.”

“I know, but the only thing improving is your schoolwork.” He appeared by your shoulder, and with a wave of his hand, images of you in different scenarios appeared. “I mean, don’t you want more of your high school life? Good friends? A party here and there? Michael? Isn’t that more appealing than just school.”

“I mean-”

“You’re doing so well with me academically. What about socially?” He placed his hands on your shoulders and forced you to look at the images he created. Clips of you laughing with a group, drinking slushies with Michael, and holding study sessions in the library. “All you need to do is upgrade.”

* * *

It had been a few days since your upgrade. “(Y/n)! Hey, did you catch the adventure movie that came out last week?”

You smiled. “Uh, no actually. Why?”

The girl shrugged. “Well, I was thinking maybe, you’d like to watch it with me.”

You blushed. “Like a date?”

“If you want it to be.”

You sighed. Michael, Jeremy, and some kids from your study group were going to see it Saturday. You opened your mouth. “I would love to.” You gasped and your hand that was supposed to cover your mouth went to hold her hand.

She squealed. “Oh my god! This is great!” She smiled and kissed your cheek. “I’ll see you Friday!” She left and waved goodbye so eagerly.

You growled. “What was that about? I don’t want to go on a date with her! I don’t like her!”

“Well, it’s in your best interest to date her,” your squip explained.

“Why would I lead a poor girl on?”

“To make Michael jealous of course. The plan is easy.” An image of the girl and Michael appeared in front of you. “Date her, a semi-popular girl, and you gain more attention. I mean, coming out always garners attention-”

“I’m-”

“After you get one date, maybe get a kiss or two,” -the girl’s copy kissed you on the cheek and disappeared- “you casually mention that you’ve seen that movie already while watching with Michael the next night. When you describe your romantic date, he will have to imagine you on that date, and then he will realize” -Michael walked towards you and smiled so brightly that you couldn’t remember how to breathe- “he has liked you all along.” Then, he glitched.

You reached out to grab his hand, but he was gone.

You sighed. “I just…She was so sweet. I don’t want to just-”

“Don’t you want to be with him?”

“Not like that!” A shock struck the back of your neck. You let out a cry and held your head. “What the fuck?!”

“I am a supercomputer, (Y/n). I have all the research on attraction. I know what works. You don’t.”

You closed your eyes. “I don’t think that shock was necessary?”

“You’re prone to listen to things that hold your attention. You have-”

“ADHD, I know, but that doesn’t warrant-”

“Any other methods you can suggest, hm?”

You really wanted to get rid of it in that moment. Problem was it wasn’t exactly something you knew how to do. “I’m sure that there’s another way you can get my attention.”

“And you know it?”

“I-” You stopped. You didn’t know. “Touch?” you offered.

Your squip tilted its head. It touched your arm, and you should’ve seen it coming, you didn’t feel a thing. You sighed. “Look, academically-wise, I’m fine without shocks.”

“But you pay attention to novelty.” He crossed his arms. “What homework assignments are due today?”

You blinked. “You usually tell me when it’s due. To help me.”

“I’m not going to be here forever.” He leaned in close. “What are you going to do without me?” 

You turned around and blinked a few times. “How did we get to this topic?”

The Squip shrugged. “I’m part of your brain, remember?”

“Yes, and my brain ADHD thank you.” You shook your head. “Let’s just get this over with.” You took one step, and that was all it took for your heart to drop to the floor. You weren’t liking this.

* * *

You stared at your reflection. The dress was a bit much, and a tad too revealing for a simple outing with friends. “I don’t know,” you said. You rubbed your arm. “This isn’t right.”

Your squip appeared beside you. “I thought you wanted Michael to notice you.”

“If it’s like this… I’m not sure.”

“Oh come on. You’ve been working so hard all your life. Harder than anyone. You spend twice or even three times the amount of time on homework than everyone else. You have to constantly build up routines and stick post-its everywhere. You’ve worked harder than anyone I know. They get all the happiness.” He motioned to the mirror, where Michael stood next to you. He smiled and kissed you on the cheek before wrapping his arm around you. You smiled at the sight. If only it were real.

“Don’t you deserve happiness in return?”

* * *

Michael shoved his hands into his pockets. Jeremy ditched him again, and he had to face his crush and people he didn’t know alone.

“Michael!”

“Eager much?” your squip commented.

Your smile faded and you waved a little. “Hey.”

He lifted his hand to wave but stopped. “What’s with the outfit?”

You blushed and toyed with the hem of your dress. “Well-”

“Why? Do you like it?”

You repeated without hesitation, “Why?”

“Play with your hair.”

You did. “Do you like it?”

His eyes widen, and his cheeks immediately turn red. “Uh, I mean, it looks good. Just, uh…” You were acting strange. “Something happen?”

“What do you mean?”

Your friend just shrugged. “I mean, I don’t know.” He pursed his lips. “Things have been getting weird lately.”

You reached out to him. “Are you-”

“Weird good?” your squip said.

You coughed, as if getting rid of the question you wanted to ask, and repeated, “Weird good?” Your hand that was supposed to touch his shoulder in comfort brushed his hand before lacing your fingers with his.

You gasped. For a second, your hand was in his, and in that second, heat filled your cheeks as your thoughts went wild with daydreams and imaginary scenarios.

But it all stopped.

Michael ripped his hand away from yours and stared at you with wide eyes. Then, his eyes narrowed. “No,” he whispered. “You took it.”

You tilted your head. Took what? You wanted to ask. The words were right on the tip of your tongue. Instead, your squip yelled, “And what’s the problem with that?”

You tried to choke down the words, but they still came out. “What’s the problem with that?” you whispered.

“(Y/n), don’t you realize what it’s doing to you?”

What? What was doing something to you? Why was he so mad? Why was your squip reacting so harshly? Why wouldn’t you say any of the things you’ve wanted to say?

“I have been so much better!” your squip shouted.

You gulped down the words, but they broke out into a whimper. “I have been so much better.”

Michael’s eyes softened. He took your hands, and the heat you felt before didn’t come back. You struggled to focus on one voice. Your squip was screaming at you to tell him off. But why? Your goal was to be with Michael, or at least be closer. How was telling him off supposed to help with that goal? Was it a tactic? What was Michael even asking about anyway? Why was he so mad? How could you fix it?

It was all your fault. It must’ve been. Why was he holding your hands? Shit, he was holding your hands. What were you supposed to do? How could you even ask if your squip was being a pushy bastard and never letting the real you talk? What were you doing? What should you do?

You stepped away from Michael. None of your thoughts wanted to cooperate, and your shrieking squip was not helping you like it should have. You pressed your palm against your head as you tried to slow down. But thinking of slowing down only made you feel bad or not being able to do so.

You didn’t hear Michael say, “I care about you. A lot, (Y/n). So, please, listen to-”

And you ran.

Michael stood there, perplexed, worried, and confused. What was he going to do?”

* * *

“Good riddance!” Your squip laughed and plopped down on your bed.

You heaved and huffed and leaned against your bed for support. When you finally caught your breath, you squinted at the manifestation of that damn supercomputer. “What the fuck were you doing? You made me shout at Michael!”

“Woah, woah, he was getting in the way of your goals.”

“Being with Michael was my goal! How was screaming at me supposed to do anything? How was arguing with him about something I don’t know help me with-”

“He was talking about me.”

You blinked. “About you?”

“Yes.”

You shuddered as you took a deep breath. “Why does he not want me to have you?”

Your squip sighed. “You see, (Y/n), I am connected to other squips in use, including the one owned by Jeremy Heere.”

“What did you do?” you sneered. “Those two have been best friends since they were children and-”

“Jeremy wanted out.”

You hissed. “I don’t believe you. The two were attached at the hip. He would never-”

“Are you sure?”

You wanted to retort, but your mouth stayed shut. Damn bastard.

“(Y/n), he never wanted to hurt Michael’s feelings, so that’s why he stayed. I allowed him to be friends with Michael if he so wished, but he didn’t. So, the two are no longer friends, and Michael doesn’t like me.”

You puffed out air when you regained control of your mouth. “Jeremy wouldn’t do that.” You turned around and reached for the door. You were going to tell Michael everything.

The squip inhaled through his teeth. “Can’t let you do that.”

Pain struck your spine, and crackling electricity shot down your spine. Your feet fell from under you, and the floor seemed to move on its own. You stared back at the program that was supposed to help you. Even though it felt like there was a belt wrapped around your head ant that there was cotton in your mouth, you managed to gasp, “What are you doing?”

Your squip stood over you. Then, he leaned down and whispered, “Helping you.”

* * *

You didn’t want to keep doing this. You weren’t even you. At least, what people heard and saw, it wasn’t you. You couldn’t control your actions.

Whenever you tried to resist, it only got you another shock down your spine.

“Hey, babe.” The girl you took out on a date a few weeks before looped her arm around yours.

You smiled. “How are you, sweetheart?”

“Better that you helped me.”

You also gave her a squip.

You gulped and nodded, even though that was not what you wanted to do. So your day carried on. You had more friends, just like you had wanted. You had amazing grades, and the teachers loved you, just like you had wanted. But, you weren’t you.

It felt like a dream, a bad nightmare. You were watching yourself live a life you had desperately at the expense of your own personality.

“You’re going to the play tonight, right (Y/n)?”

You nodded. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

“We have a job to do there,” the squip said.

You blinked. “What job exactly?”

“Just security issues. Extra precautions while someone else distributes more squips.”

You grimaced. Great.

* * *

You stood in front of the door as you took and sold tickets. The drama teacher greeted you quite robotically, so you knew you only got the job because of the squips.

You sighed when the stream of people stopped. You put your head in your hands. You were never going to get out of this. How were you supposed to? You couldn’t just get rid of the squip. It was in your brain. Plus, no doctor would believe you if you could afford to remove it.

“(Y/n)?”

You looked up. “Michael.” No, he couldn’t be here. They were going to infect everyone with squips. Michael didn’t deserve that. “W-We’re sold out,” you stuttered.

He stared at the remaining stack of tickets by your elbow.

You cursed under your breath. “Michael, don’t go in there.”

He glared at you.

“Good job, (Y/n),” the squip told you. “You can’t let him get in.”

You shook your head. Ok, it didn’t matter why the squip didn’t want him there. You didn’t want him there.

Michael eyed the door then you. He sprinted towards it.

You shoved the table out of your way and blocked him from the door. “You can’t!”

“(Y/n), I have to!”

“Michael-”

“I know how to get rid of it.”

The squip crossed his arms. “Bluffing.”

“Wait,” you gasped. “You can get rid of it.”

He nodded. Michael opened and closed his mouth several times before settling on rubbing both of your shoulders. “I’m going to help you, ok? Will you let me help you?”

Yes! The squip appeared right beside him. “Bullshit. You think this guy can help you the way I did. You got better grades because of me. You have a girlfriend. You are popular-”

Your friend noticed your shift in focus. “(Y/n), listen to me, please. Focus on my voice.” He rubbed circles into your shoulders.

You closed your eyes and tried your best to block out the squip’s rants and rambles. Michael’s touch helped ground you, and after a few minutes, the squip was out of your mind. You nodded but refused to open your eyes. If the squip was there, he was not going to make it easy to concentrate.

His voice was soft, but his touch was intense. It was like he needed to keep you grounded, as if it was his only priority. “(Y/n), I care about you, and I want to help you. I’m going to help you. But, you need to let me in.”

You shook your head. “He’ll hurt me.” You opened your eyes, and you saw the squip with crossed arms and a smirk behind Michael. “Michael, he’s going to hurt me if I let you through.” You took a shuddering breath.

Before Michael could come up with a different plan, you grabbed him by the arms. “So, you better hurry up.”

“(Y/n), no-”

You threw Michael past the doors.

“What have you done?!”

You screamed. It was like a boulder struck your back. You crumpled to the ground, but your mind… It was so hazy. You weren’t sure what was up, down. You reached out for something, anything to remind you where you were, but there was nothing, just a horrible voice in your head that would never shut up.

You pressed your hands against your ears, but it was no use. How were you supposed to get rid of him?

* * *

Your head felt empty. That was the first thing you registered when you woke up. What day was it? Was it a school day? What about your backpack?

Usually, your squip-

The squip!

“(Y/n)!”

You were on the ground, by the theater entrance. What…

Someone tapped you on the shoulder before placing their hands on your arms. “Hey, (Y/n), it’s Michael. Are you ok?”

You blinked a few times. Michael Mell, the guy you liked. Right, you shoved him into the theater after finding out he could get rid of squips. A smile grew on your face. Your mind, still noisy with thoughts, was missing a particular voice. One that wasn’t your own.

He saved you. Michael Mell, the guy you have had a crush on for years, saved you. You laughed and stroked his hair. “You did it,” you whispered.

Michael stared silently. You were touching his hair. You, the kind, creative, child-like you, were touching his hair! And that smile, that smile silenced him. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t move. Was he breathing?

You giggled. He was gone! You laughed a little more and kissed him.

Michael froze against your lips, because oh god you were kissing him. H couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t process that you were actually kissing him.

You gasped and pulled away. “I’m sorry!” you blurted out. “I’m so sorry. That was uncalled for. I just… um.” You stared at the ground as the room suddenly got hotter. You just kissed your crush, and he didn’t kiss you back. He probably hated your guts. He will try to be nice and play it off cool, but in reality, he will never see you the same way again, and you were never going to be together and nothing was going to-

“Can we do that again?”

You blinked. “What?”

“Can we, uh, kiss? Again. I’m sorry, I was just so shocked and I didn’t see it coming-”

You kissed him again.

Michael yelped in surprise. Then, he moaned against your lips and practically yanked you closer to him. You gasped and giggled before kissing him again. For a few moments, it was just him. You only thought of him. How his hands tightly gripped your waist. How his breath smelled a bit too much like pot. How his lips pressed and moved against yours so desperately, you’d think he didn’t need to breathe.

Michael didn’t want to breathe. He wanted to keep kissing you, just like he had always imagined. Images of you hurt and unconscious hit him again, and he pulled away from you just for a moment to breathe. Then, he kissed you again, just to make sure you were there and well.

You gasped as Michael kissed you harder than the two times before. Your hands moved to his cheeks as you tried to comfort him from whatever intense emotion he was feeling. Suddenly, you were the one grounding him from his worries and thoughts, and you couldn’t imagine doing anything else.

Then, the kiss ended with gasps from both sides. You gulped as so many words pushed their way up your throat. Then, just as Michael was about to kiss you again, you whispered, “Thank you.”

Michael smiled. “Anything for you.”

* * *

You opened your locker and immediately forgot what you went there for. You stared at the list in your locker. You were in third period. You opened your backpack and went through the checklist. You muttered under your breath until, “Notebook.” You smiled, grabbed it, and closed your locker.

“Peach?”

You laughed and turned around to have Michael walk up to you with a smile. ‘We still on for date night?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Michael held out his hand.

You gladly put yours in his.

Without missing a beat, your boyfriend kissed the back of your hand and pulled you closer.

“Michael!” you squealed.

“What? Just wanted to tell you how beautiful you are.”

You bit your lip. Michael always did that, and god, you couldn’t. Your cheeks were aching because of all the smiling. Not that you minded. “Thank you, Michael.”

“And how lucky I am-”

“Michael!”

“And you much I adore you.”

You tilted your head and pushed him away from you. “More than weed?”

“You’re more addicting.” He took a step closer to you.

You left your hand on his chest and scoffed. “More than those collectible figurines.”

“You got them for me, Peach.” Another step.

You nodded. “Impressed. Pacman?”

He groaned. “I hate you.”

You pressed a quick kiss on his lips. “Love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wondered what would happen if Michael's crush got squipped, so this is what became of it. Thank you so much for reading. Have a wonderful day, readers!


End file.
